Holy Guacamole!

Holy Guacamole!  I found a recipe on Weight Watchers for an Asparagus Guacamole. Basically you are using Asparagus instead of Avocado in this recipe. I was extremely skeptical. The reviews though were all really positive with a lot of “wow, I was skeptical, but it turned out great”.  As a lover of guacamole I thought I’d give it a try.  My thinking was, the worst that could happen is I waste a bundle of asparagus and a little bit of time.

Asparagus Guacamole

1 ½ lb aparagus trimmed

1 Tbsp mayo (light)

1 Tbsp fresh lime juice

¼  cup chopped cilantro

3 scallions, thinly sliced

½ medium jalapeno, minced

1 clove garlic, minced

1/8 tsp worchestershire sauce

1/8 tsp hot sauce (Franks)

1/8 tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

Directions:

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, add asparagus and cook until tender- about 10 minutes.  Allow to cool for a few minutes.
2. Blend tender asparagus in a food processor until smooth. Remove to a bowl and add remaining ingredients, stir and serve.

Family Verdict:

I’m the only guacamole eater in my house so it’s just my review today. 

Me: Holy cow! I CANNOT believe how good this is! So amazingly good I literally licked the bowl! You cannot taste the asparagus at all, all the other flavors come through giving it that guacamole taste. I bet it would be great with a chucky salsa mixed in or  just some fresh tomato too.  Seriously contemplating hiding away and eating the entire bowl.

Conclusion: If you like guacamole and are interested in trying something significantly lower in calories, I REQUIRE you to try this. Immediately. Go buy your asparagus right now!  Stop reading and go to the store.

Minor Disaster- Chicken Salad

Yeah it's chickens with guns. It's doesn't have to make sense it's 1am!

This poor chicken was doomed to disaster. It started when I came home for a minute to check on the crockpot chicken. This recipe basically takes a whole chicken sets it on foil balls and just a little dash of this and that and it’s done in several hours in the crockpot. There is no added water to this recipe. I’ve done it several times and it works great.

However, this particular occasion finds me coming home to discover that the lid to the crockpot is askew. Basically meaning all my precious chicken liquids have likely evaporated during the 5-6 hours it’s already been in there.

That night, I get home and try the chicken. It’s dry- like ridiculously dry. It’s all weird and kind of shreds in your mouth- kind of like eating chicken flavored sand. Needless to say, it’s take out night for the Strauss family.

So what can I do with a very dry chicken?  Toss that puppy in the food processor, add some mayo and make chicken salad of course! Do you know what dry crockpot chicken makes? Dry chicken salad! As a minor disclaimer (you know, for my reputation with my 5 fans!) I have to say that I made a pretty kick butt chicken salad a couple weeks ago so I’m not completely inept in the chicken salad department. Every day except for today of course.

This cat food looks BETTER than mine!

Mistake one (besides the already mentioned mistake(s) above):  I got a tad too happy with the food processor.  It looked good after whirring up the chicken. I couldn’t remember if I added mayo to the processor or manually stirred it in.  It’s after midnight so that’s no time for thinking. So, in the mayo goes into the processor, and whirr it up some more!  This resulted in something that looked remarkably close to whitish cat food.

Mistake two: I probably should have tasted the chicken and mayo at this point, but I don’t. In goes a perfectly lovely diced apple and some seasonings. I get smart and manually mix it this time!  Now my cat food looks like cat food with diced apples stirred in.  Just in case you haven’t figured it out this doesn’t look at all appetizing. I won’t even horrify you with pictures. I figure though, that if it tastes ok I can hide it under some bread or lettuce or something.

Nothing sadder than a sad apple

I taste it at last, it tastes- not like cat food as you may be thinking, but more along the lines of sand mixed with mayonnaise.  Whole batch goes right into the trash.  What am I most sad about? I lost a perfectly lovely apple.  

Ashes

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

These words were spoken to me tonight as the heads of myself, my family and my church congregation were marked with ashes for Ash Wednesday. I haven’t done this in 20 years.  My first thoughts go to death of course, my own mortality. I look down at my daughter and her ashes and realize someday she will die too.  That is life, but knowing that doesn’t keep me from being terrified of it. 

My thoughts then wander to: how many fellow Christians through the ages have been marked in this way- with ashes, with the same words spoken over them?  I would guess that for probably hundreds of years maybe over a thousand years men and women have been marked in this same way.  Ashes. My mind wanders again to the Old Testament where the mournful and repentant would cover themselves in ashes.

My fear and sorrow turns into awe and beauty, as I find myself united with my brothers and sisters in Christ and believers in God throughout the world, the centuries, and through the ages. I stand in awe of the enduring love, respect, and fear of God that has withstood the test of time. I stand in awe that I have been chosen to be a link in the chain that spans across time. That I, that we, are connected in a great and mysterious way to a great, powerful, and loving God-our King of Kings.