Minor Disaster- Chicken Salad

Yeah it's chickens with guns. It's doesn't have to make sense it's 1am!

This poor chicken was doomed to disaster. It started when I came home for a minute to check on the crockpot chicken. This recipe basically takes a whole chicken sets it on foil balls and just a little dash of this and that and it’s done in several hours in the crockpot. There is no added water to this recipe. I’ve done it several times and it works great.

However, this particular occasion finds me coming home to discover that the lid to the crockpot is askew. Basically meaning all my precious chicken liquids have likely evaporated during the 5-6 hours it’s already been in there.

That night, I get home and try the chicken. It’s dry- like ridiculously dry. It’s all weird and kind of shreds in your mouth- kind of like eating chicken flavored sand. Needless to say, it’s take out night for the Strauss family.

So what can I do with a very dry chicken?  Toss that puppy in the food processor, add some mayo and make chicken salad of course! Do you know what dry crockpot chicken makes? Dry chicken salad! As a minor disclaimer (you know, for my reputation with my 5 fans!) I have to say that I made a pretty kick butt chicken salad a couple weeks ago so I’m not completely inept in the chicken salad department. Every day except for today of course.

This cat food looks BETTER than mine!

Mistake one (besides the already mentioned mistake(s) above):  I got a tad too happy with the food processor.  It looked good after whirring up the chicken. I couldn’t remember if I added mayo to the processor or manually stirred it in.  It’s after midnight so that’s no time for thinking. So, in the mayo goes into the processor, and whirr it up some more!  This resulted in something that looked remarkably close to whitish cat food.

Mistake two: I probably should have tasted the chicken and mayo at this point, but I don’t. In goes a perfectly lovely diced apple and some seasonings. I get smart and manually mix it this time!  Now my cat food looks like cat food with diced apples stirred in.  Just in case you haven’t figured it out this doesn’t look at all appetizing. I won’t even horrify you with pictures. I figure though, that if it tastes ok I can hide it under some bread or lettuce or something.

Nothing sadder than a sad apple

I taste it at last, it tastes- not like cat food as you may be thinking, but more along the lines of sand mixed with mayonnaise.  Whole batch goes right into the trash.  What am I most sad about? I lost a perfectly lovely apple.